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Q: I feel really ashamed about a sin that I did, and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my current father of confession. Can I go to a priest somewhere else and confess it?
A: It’s alright to confess to someone else, the sacrament itself requires only that you are repentant and then that you say it before a priest, so you do not need to worry about whether or not you are “permitted” to say it to another priest.
The real issue is why you would be afraid of “ruining” the relationship with your current FOC. Your FOC is supposed to be a guide, so knowing everything about you helps him guide you as a whole. If you fell, no big deal, we all do, but it’s important for him to see what kind of things are leading you to those falls to work on it together so that you grow. It’s not because of rules, it’s supposed to be because you want to grow.
If someone wants to lose weight for example, and starts going to the gym, and you have a trainer helping you, he’s going to want to know what’s going on with you. If you’re hardcore working out but losing no weight, because you are secretly snacking on crazy amounts of sugar, well… how can he train you if that’s not disclosed? So try and take that spirit, but definitely don’t worry about confessing to another priest.
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Thank you! Please pray for it and me a lot!
I would also like to add that, if one who is confessing is worrying about how their FOC is viewing them or is worrying about the relationship because of such and such a sin, then that person has to re-evaluate why it is they are going to see a FOC in the first place. First of all, there should not be a sense of building “respect” or “honor” when it comes to the relationship with a FOC. What I’m trying to say is the confessor should not be looking to build a good reputation with the FOC. The purpose is to be honest and let everything our regardless of what the sin is. Secondly, the person should know that the priest should not hold any expectations to the one hes guiding, and should be ready for everything, and prepared to guide his flock lovingly.